When I was young I loved the ocean. I loved to swim in the ocean until I almost did drown in Hawaii. But there were two things about the ocean that scared the bejeebers out of me: drowning in a car and tidal waves.

I was petrified of accidentally driving into the water and not being able to get out of the car. Do you remember that movie, “The Stuntman”? There’s a sequence in that film where the hero is stuck in the car underwater. It freaked me out. I had to leave the theatre. I hated it.

I don’t remember ever having been in a car underwater, but to this day I still have this irrational fear of that happening. You could never get me to drive on that highway that goes to the Florida Keys (well, you could never get me to go to Florida; but that’s another story), you know, the one that’s right on the water. No way, no sirree, not Anon. Nope. (more…)

I had a not great day Sunday. Little under the weather was Anon. You might remember how I extolled on the aspect of technology that gave us caller ID. I love caller ID. On Sunday, caller ID was a godsend.

First of all, it’s the season of political calls. I’m not against answering real poll questions, but I hate ‘push’ polls. Those are fake polls that don’t want a real measure of public opinion the people behind these “polls” just want to “push” you to vote for their candidate, against the opponent, or to not vote at all. These so-called polls are anathema to a representative form of governing.

Fortunately, because I have a degree in Political Science, I can tell the difference and I’m not shy about pointing that fact out to the boiler room denizens who have the misfortune of being at the other end of the line from me. I usually ream them a new one.

The other thing I can’t stand are legitimate polls that haven’t trained their people properly. There is a way to run a poll professionally and it makes me nuts to hear it get screwed up. (more…)

You know, the camera doesn’t lie. Somehow, Tom Delay’s attorney got his mug shot without the usual height markings and numbers. There he is, just grinning away like a cat eating shit. Well, at least he couldn’t hide everything. Good ol’ Tom, he’s always good for a laugh.

In August of 1998 Tom Delay observed the sagacity of resigning before you’re convicted:

I just think that, if the president wants to put this behind him, then he ought to do the honourable thing, and that is to resign…. We’re talking about something that’s very dangerous, when the American people have lost the trust and respect of the president of the United States…. If he’s lied … then how can he stand before the American people and the American people trust what he has to say?

Anon’s question: Will he follow his own advice?

In October 1998, Tom Delay made this observation on the impeachment of President Clinton:

This nation sits at a crossroads. One direction points to the higher road of the rule of law. Sometimes hard, sometimes unpleasant, this path relies on truth, justice and the rigorous application of the principle that no man is above the law. Now, the other road is the path of least resistance. This is where we start making exceptions to our laws based on poll numbers and spin control. This is when we pitch the law completely overboard when the mood fits us, when we ignore the facts in order to cover up the truth . . .No man is above the law, and no man is below the law. That’s the principle that we all hold very dear in this country.

We hear you Tom. You know, you’re just slicker than deer guts on a gate post. Listen you can always go back to playing with them cucarachas in Houston.

Gosh, this just warms the cockles of my twisted little heart.

There are some people in the public sphere that I just can’t abide. I can’t even stand to look at their mugs. Charles Krauthammer is one of them. I could rant and rave, but where’s the fun in that?

I mean look at Charlie. Was there ever a more supercilious, self-important, smug asshole? Okay, you’re right, Robert Novak is right up there in the obnoxious department. What amazes me is that Krauthammer would allow this picture to accompany his column in the Washington Post. The most amazing thing is that the pisk* doesn’t lie: he writes like he looks.

So, instead of fussing and fuming, I don’t read his column anymore. Unfortunately, since I subscribe to the Post; his punum** catches my eye every once in a while. So, how to make sure that he will garner laughs and not bile? Put that pompous noggin on something silly.

I learned this from a mate at university. She was a concert pianist who, in order to get over her nerves before a performance, would imagine the conductor taking a dump. I always thought that this was a tad over the top. But, the alternative of imagining people naked (another ploy) can elicit rather illicit thoughts. So, I give them a body of the other gender and have a little fun with it.

So, you just try to get me upset Chuck. It won’t work! And you’re not far behind Novak. Go ahead, try it on someone you can’t stand. You’ll feel the tension fade away. Why the ball? Just ‘cause I felt like it. So there!

*mouth
**face

My apologies to Nikki St. Phaille, who sculpted the fabulous statue.

The other morning one of the ‘agony aunt’ columns had a letter that made me laugh. Seems the letter writer has a relative who fancies herself well-educated. As such, this relative thought that it was her duty to correct pronunciation of everyone in the family. “What to do?” asked the writer.

I can’t remember what Abby/Ann/Carolyn said, I was laughing too hard. It was the image of this person going around correcting people and they weren’t knocking her lights out. Then, the memories came rushing back: I had an aunt who did that all the time. She had a couple of years of community college, a Penguin Classics of Plato’s ‘Republic,’ and thought that gave her superior knowledge about everything.

One word I remember that she’d always correct me on was, ‘surprise.’ I would say ‘suh-prise’, dropping the ‘r.’ that particular transgression stuck in her craw. She would always correct me. Since I was only a child, it never stuck. So, she was continually correcting me on my mispronunciations and spoonerisms. The most lasting thing she ever did was to threaten to turn me into the police for picking my nose. (more…)

.In the study of American Politics there is an unspoken maxim: everything that exists can be measured, and that which can’t be measured doesn’t exist.

First of all, you have to understand that ‘American’ Politics is a culture-centric name. Do you think that in France they have a field called, French Politics? How about Italian Politics? No, ‘American’ Politics is just an excuse to institutionalize the concept of America and her politics as exceptional. As if the U.S. had a special status amongst the respresentative republics in the developed world. As we can see by just our most recent failures, we aren’t exceptional, just lucky. And our luck can run out at any time.

The formula is an example of predictive statistical analysis.

Y(t) = the impact on graduate student’s ability to find an academic position within
his/her lifetime

Sigma = the sum of the following computation:

15 = the # of quarters in a 5-year graduate program study program (according to
the Regents)

c = the # of quarters the graduate student can actually remember by the end of
his/her graduate career

x = the amount of debt accrued during studies

y = the job market when the dissertation is finished

This is why it doesn’t pay to go to graduate school