Now for those of you who are still gobsmacked by the failure of CIA intel when it came to Iraq and WMDs, let me tell you a little story. It’s all true. It used to crack me up, but it makes me laugh with tears in my eyes these days.

I had a friend, Howard, who was a Major in the Army when I knew him. At one point in his career he had been chosen to be the military attaché at the embassy in Caracas, Venezuela. As you may or may not know, this is often the CIA post in an embassy. Howard looked at this as a move up and out of the trenches. He was thrilled.

Howard was shipped off to Langley, CIA HQ, and received his training for his new posting. Near the end of the training, one of his instructors came up to him said, “Hey, Howard, you got a good set of luggage?” Howard had to admit that he had been working out of duffles and trunks in the Army. The instructor shook his head. “Well, you’re in the big leagues now, Howard. You’ll need a good set of luggage.” Handing him a card he said, “Here’s place up in Alexandria that will give you a great deal on luggage. I know it’s a hoof, but it’s worth it. We all go there.” As Howard said later, “This is when the alarm bells should have gone off in my head. But, I’m a sucker for a great deal.” Smack upside the head on that one Howie. Howard thanked him and trotted off to Alexandria.

Howard entered the non-descript shop and started looking at luggage sets. The prices were out of his league, but he finally found a set that was not only tastefully subdued, but not too hard on the wallet either. The owner then came over and asked Howard how he was doing. “Oh fine, thanks. I do like this set,” he said pointing to the affordable set in front of him. Then, he remembered the card the instructor had given him. He handed it to the owner. When the man saw the card, he steered Howard toward a fine set of luggage. The price the owner assured him was far lower than the sign and quite reasonable. “We always take care of our friends from Langley.” The penny should have definitely dropped then, but Howard was pleased and bought the matching set on the spot. Off he went to Caracas.

When he arrived at the airport, Howard collected his luggage and waited by the curb for the pre-arranged embassy car to fetch him. Suddenly, off to his left he heard in broken English, “Hey, CIA! Want a ride?” Thinking that he’d just ignore the voice, Howard stayed put. The voice became louder, “HEY CIA! WANT A RIDE?” Howard knew that that soon people would be turning around and he didn’t want to blow his cover on the first day, so he ambled over to the cab as if he hadn’t heard anything.

Once, he was in the cab, Howard asked the cabbie in as casual a tone as he could muster, “What makes you think that I’m CIA?” The cabbie shot back, “The luggage, man, all you CIA have the same luggage! You want me to drop you off at the side entrance to the embassy?” Howard grunted a yes and fell back into the seat. It was going to be a long assignment.

This happened in the late 1950s, mais rien ne change. Unlike George “Slam Dunk” Tenet, Howard did not get the Medal of Freedom. He was later sent off to USC to learn how to use a Arriflex movie camera and then shipped out to Viet Nam to photograph the quagmire. Did he make it back? I don’t know, but I sure hope so.